He'll Never Admit It
by Literati Lover
Summary: Follow Puck and his thoughts about Rachel and other things throughout the show...What exactly does he think about Quinn? And Rachel? And Finn? You'll only find out by reading!
1. Episode 1

He'll Never Admit It

Summary: Basically, just Puck and a bunch of things he would never admit. This is episode one. Hopefully, I can follow the series by episode, but my life's so busy. I make no promises. Be sure to tell me what you think.

Rating: T (to be safe)

*****

My life had never been more pathetic than the day Rachel Berry discovered short skirts. It didn't help that she had incredibly long legs for a midget, or the fact that those legs looked as if they could wrap around me perfectly. It also didn't help that more than once I found myself picturing or dreaming what it would be like if she were to wrap them around my body. And it definitely didn't help that I had to add an extra 30 minutes to my cold shower in the morning because of those dreams. Not to mention the fact that the showers just made it worse, because I started to imagine those legs around me while we were both showering.

Rachel Berry had really screwed up my life and messed with my head. I mean, she's a freak. She walks around belting out show tunes with her head held high as if she owns the place. She talks as if she jumped out of an SAT prep book. And her voice is so loud and high pitched and annoying that it literally makes me want to set myself on fire.

Rachel Berry was definitely a freak. She's not supposed to be hot. But she is. She's so freakin hot that I find myself staring at those legs every time she walks by. _But I'll never admit it._

What was with those skirts, anyway? I mean, did she even OWN a pair of pants? Even in winter, she insisted on wearing those tiny little things that didn't leave much to the imagination. Well, unless you were me. Then, there were plenty of things that you could imagine.

And that is where the slushies came in. I had to do something to stay on top of my game. I mean, what would happen if the world found out that I had frequent dreams about that Gleek? I'm Noah Puckerman. I can have any girl that I want, so why I was fantasizing over some loser? It didn't really make any sense, and I hated that.

So the slushies made it easier to deal with. After all, she deserved them for making my life miserable. It was her fault, after all. She's the one that doesn't know how to buy a pair of pants.

I was doing great giving her a daily slushie facial and walking away without looking back. Until one day she wore a skirt that was even shorter than usual, and I found myself doing a double take. And that's when I noticed it. The lip quiver.

It almost made me want to turn back. ALMOST. _But I'll never admit it._

I didn't turn back, of course. Because, really, what kind of stud like me would care if he made a loser cry?

But, after that moment, I realized that I had started doing a double take after each slushie facial. It was just because I wanted to see the anguish on her face, of course. After she had ruined my life, I might as well get the benefit of watching hers be ruined too.

I definitely didn't mean to notice the way her tongue slipped out of her mouth and grazed over her lips slowly after I had thrown a grape slushie at her. Then, I left my mind imagine much more desirable things she could be doing with that tongue. _But I'll never admit it_.

I also thought it was interesting that grape seems to be both of our favorites. _But I'll never admit it. _

And then the worst possible thing happened: my best friend joined the homo explosion, the stupid show tunes belting group of biggest losers I had ever admit.

But, when he told me, I almost felt a little jealous. _But I'll never admit it._

I actually loved music. I had been singing and playing guitar for as long as I can remember. _But I'll never admit it._

I wished that I could break this stupid tough guy image that I had going on. _But I'll never admit it. _

After all, with Finn now part of the pansy club, I was the top gun. I was the sexiest and most desirable hunk at the school. I had to keep that image, so I harassed Finn about joining the pansies. I insulted the losers. I put that cripple in the port-a-potty. Because, now I was at the top. And it felt great. It was nice to be looked up to. It was nice to feel like I belonged somewhere. _But I'll never admit it._

I was angry, though. Beyond angry. Because I could see the way Berry kept looking at Finn. Almost as if she wanted to wrap those legs around him, and it made me clench my fists every time. What was so great about sweet, perfect Finn, anyway? He was as dumb as a rock. And his goofy grin was annoying. What did Quinn and that loser chick Rachel see in him anyway?

The next day was even worse, because I saw Finn and those losers practicing in the auditorium. And they were actually good. _But I'll never admit it._

Although, it wasn't all lost at first, because I noticed that Berry did, in fact, own a pair of pants. Which made me feel much better, because maybe I'd be able to get the image of her legs out of my head from now on. But then, she opened her mouth to sing, and I groaned. Because, now, all I could imagine was that voice screaming out my name. And then the image of her legs around me while calling out my name came to mind, and I thought I was going die of ecstasy. _But I'll never admit it._

I definitely don't know how it happened. And I really wish that it hadn't. Because, at some point, I developed some sort of thing for Rachel Berry. _But I'll never admit it. _

*****

A/N: So… I have this idea in my head, but it's really hard to put on paper. I don't feel like this chapter really helped with what I wanted to say. It's so much harder to write from Puck's POV than a lot of the other things I've written. So, if you wouldn't mind giving me some pointers or anything, that'd be great. Also, tell me what you like and don't like. And please review?! It really helps inspire me and helps improve my writing.


	2. Showmance

He'll Never Admit It

Summary: Basically, just Puck and a bunch of things he would never admit. Episode Two.

Rating: T (to be safe)

****

I groaned as I woke up to my alarm, which interrupted me from another one of my dreams in which I was finally removing Berry's knee socks and little thing that she liked to call a skirt. I threw my pillow at the alarm for waking me up at the best part. Then again, it's probably much safer this way. After all, knowing what was under those clothes might not be so great for my sanity. I mean, what would happen if a stud like me basically walked up and started groping that loser in the hall? It definitely wouldn't look too good.

I groaned again as my mind started to imagine just what exactly Berry did look like under those clothes. I mean, you'd have to be blind not to notice how long and toned and slender those legs are. I can only imagine that the rest of her is probably quite the same.

I reluctantly got out of bed and headed over to take my extra long cold shower again, no thanks to that loser. Seriously, I hate her for making me have to wake up an extra 30 minutes early every morning.

One thing that did make me feel better after getting to school was seeing that homo freak in the parking lot. I couldn't wait to dumpster him. Of course, right when I was about to, we noticed Mr. Schue in the parking lot talking to Berry again. I closed my eyes as I tried to get the image of that skirt with those knee socks out of my mind. But that didn't help, because behind my eyelids, all I saw was myself taking them off again. I growled. Since when does Noah Puckerman walk around thinking these kinds of thoughts about freaks? I hate you, Rachel Berry. I absolutely loathe you.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts and then felt my fists clench as I looked up to see Finn walking with her with that stupid goofy grin on his face and pulling along her pathetic excuse for a backpack. Seriously, did everything she own have to be pink? I bet her room was pink too.

I growled again, trying to clear the idea of her bedroom, and more particularly, her bed, out of my mind again.

What does Finn think he's doing carrying around another girl's bag? He has a girlfriend already, and a hot one at that. And, okay, sure, Quinn's legs aren't nearly as long and slender as Berry's, but at least she doesn't walk around bolting out old songs that no one's ever really heard and putting gold freaking starts next to her name like she's famous or something. Who really even knows the names of Broadway stars, anyway?

I watched as Finn and Berry walked by, while she smiled up at him like he was an angel or something, and I felt my blood boil. So I smirked and placed my arm around the she-man's shoulders until Mr. Schue walked by, before I picked him up to dumpster him. The feeling was satisfying. Not quite as satisfying as laying my fist into Finn's jaw a minute ago would have been, but it was definitely satisfying enough.

After throwing Beyonce in the dumpster, I headed out to get my daily slushie. I got blue this time. I was too angry to give her grape. She didn't deserve it. I mean, the skirts are one thing, but those knee socks were another. I almost contemplated breaking into her house and stealing all of those skirts so she could never wear them again, but then the idea of her walking around in nothing came to mind, and I quickly pushed the thought away.

Clearly, the slushie message didn't get through, because the next day she walked in with another one of those pathetic excuses for a skirt. If she weren't so weird and emotional, I'd buy her a pair of pants just to get the picture of her legs out of my mind. But, knowing her, she'd look too much into it and give me some long speech about something or other, which would then result in me wanting to bash my head against the wall.

The next few days were the same. Short skirt, knee high socks, her following Finn around like some lovesick puppy, and Finn smiling back with that stupid, idiotic smirk. It absolutely made me sick. I was almost embarrassed to call Finn my best friend anymore. I mean, he's hanging out with the loser homo explosion. It doesn't get any worse than that? Even that freaky Jacob kid is better than that group of losers.

Then, of course, came the celibacy club meeting. The only reason I even go every week is to check out all the fine cheerleaders in those skimpy outfits, especially Santana. That girl was a whole different degree of hot. Plus, when she bent over in her cheerleading outfit the other day, I'm pretty sure I could see her ovaries. I groaned just thinking about it. At least Berry wasn't the only one who invaded my dreams at night, even if she usually had the starring role. But it definitely had to be those knee socks. That's all.

I could've sworn that I died when I saw Berry come into this stupid meeting. What did she think she was doing here, walking around in that short skirt? Clearly, celibacy wasn't on her mind when she got dressed in the morning. I clenched my fists when I saw that weirdo Jacob walk over to Berry. But then I smirked when I remembered that I hated her. Two freaks together, what a perfect couple.

I focused my attention on Santana. Even if she didn't have Berry's legs, I still wouldn't mind those legs wrapping around me. But then Rachel freakin Berry had to go and ruin the images of Santana with one of her stupid rants. Did this girl EVER shut her big mouth? I shivered as I considered this, but was brought back to reality by the annoying pitch of her never ending speech.

I rolled my eyes as she continued ranting, making it clearly obvious that she was speaking to Finn. But I felt myself choke, when I heard the word sex come out of her mouth. I closed my eyes and suppressed a groan when she mentioned how girls wanted sex just as much as guys. Believe me, you do not even want to know what was going through my head at that time.

I quickly walked out of the room and headed home for another cold shower. I really, really hate you Rachel Berry. I hate your tanned legs that are way too long for a midget, and those stupid scraps of material that you call a skirt, and those knee socks that look so ridiculous but they still fill my thoughts constantly. I absolutely despise you.

And just when I thought that I couldn't hate her anymore, she proved me wrong. What did she think she was doing wearing that _thing_ she called clothing on stage and moving her body that way for the whole school to see?

I felt my jaw and chest tighten as she ran her hands up and down Finn's chest as if he was a stud like me. Clearly, his chest wasn't nearly chiseled as mine, so I really have no idea what she saw in him. I didn't know who I hated more at this moment: her or Finn.

I decided that I definitely hated her more when she started heaving her chest up and down and rubbing her thighs. I can only imagine the dreams I'm going to have tonight. Now, I'm going to lose another 30 minutes of sleep.

I saw the way her bodied moved against Finn and I tried to recall how many times her body had moved against mine just like that last night in my dreams.

I growled as they finished, feeling more angry than usual. It was bad enough that I had these stupid thoughts about Berry, but now I had to picture those legs wrapped around Finn instead of me. I stormed out after the assembly and decided that I needed to do something to get that freak out of my mind.

I heard people talking about a party tonight, and I decided to go. Booze and hot girls were just what I needed.

****

A/N: Okay, there's my attempt for episode two. I'm not sure how well it went. I felt off in some places. Why is Puck so hard to read? He seems like such a jerk in the first few episodes, and then he's the sweetest guy ever in MashUp? I'm going to TRY to hopefully transition him a little into that guy. Hopefully, I can make it realistic.

If you have any suggestions, critiques, or comments, please let me know!

Thanks for reading! And I want you to know that I _definitely _appreciate reviews!


	3. The Party

He'll Never Admit It

Summary: Basically, just Puck his POV through the show: This is my writing of the party in which Quinn and Puck hook up. I have no idea what really happened, but here's my best shot….

Rating: T (to be safe)

*A/N:

First, I want to say that I SAW MARK SALLING (PUCK) TODAY! I went to a taping of Oprah with the cast of GLEE! And I sat in the fourth row! AMAZING!

I yelled his name and he smiled at me, then we winked at me, and blew me a kiss! What a sweetie! Seriously, he is absolutely amazingly sweet and talented!

Also, Harry Shum smiled and waved at me too! The whole cast was so amazing and funny and just so sweet and unique! Loved it!

Second, Everyone should go to "My Fox Chicago" and click on "GLEE casting call" contest and Vote for Video #4. Please?! :D You can vote once a day.

Lastly, I'm sorry it's been so long. I've been so busy with my last semester of Nursing school and family stuff. Plus, this chapter is hard to write, because I need to improvise a little.

For instance, I have no idea exactly WHAT occurred between Puck and Quinn…..so I'm going to slightly mention it without going into detail…

I hope it's okay!*

The party last night was just what I needed to get away….at first. Hot girls. Booze. And jeans, tight jeans. NO short skirts. At all.

I was having a blast. Not at all thinking about Berry. Not even a little bit. Not even when I saw a small brunette walk by. I absolutely did NOT take a double take because I thought it might be her. I definitely only took a double take, because the girl was hot. Of course, that's the only reason.

And I definitely DIDN'T walk away when the girl hit on me because her legs weren't long enough. That wasn't the reason. It was simply because I had seen someone hotter across the room.

I walked over and grabbed another beer, quickly chugging half of it and hoping to wipe the images of Berry from my mind. I wasn't sure how many beers I had already chugged, but however many, it wasn't enough to ease my mind.

I couldn't get the images of Berry dancing against Hudson out of my mind, and I hated it. I wasn't even sure why.

I really shouldn't care that Berry's legs were wrapped around his waist or that she grinded her body up against him in a way that made me shudder with passion when I considered myself in that position.

I absolutely hated Berry for this. And, right now, I almost hated Finn a little bit too. After all, he practically blew off the football team in order to join this homo explosion. And now he was feeling up the school freak, especially when he has a super hot girlfriend of his own. Even though Berry was hot, it didn't take away from the fact that she was all sorts of crazy. I mean, seriously, what kind of person talks like a walking dictionary. It's just weird. And the way she stares at Hudson is like it's the freakin' apocalypse and he's the last human on earth that may be able to provide her with sperm in order to prolong her crazyness to another generation.

She was definitely all sorts of crazy. So I definitely shouldn't care that Berry has this thing for Finn, and that he sort of has a thing for her too. And I don't care, I don't think. It's just that something about it makes me sick. It's probably the fact that Finn would even THINK about touching that thing in the sweater vest.

What is with her and those sweater vests anyway? My grandmother won't even wear them anymore, because she thinks they're out of style. I shuddered at the thought of comparing Berry to my grandmother and quickly pushed the thought away.

After all, dreaming about Berry was bad enough, but associating her with that is just beyond extreme.

I quickly finished the rest of my beer, hoping to drown out more images. I didn't really know how many I had, but I know it was enough to definitely feel buzzed. I could probably still handle a few more. So I grabbed two more and took off to find a hot girl. A hot girl that was wearing jeans and preferably a low-cut shirt NOT a skirt or sweater vest or knee socks or whatever other clothes that crazy keeps locked in her closet….

And that's when I turned and saw Quinn. Alone. And she looked miserable….but still hot. She always looked hot. And at least she was wearing jeans.

I sat down next to her, until she turned to glare up at me.

"What do you want, Puck?"

"Nothin, just enjoyin' the party," I said, finally relaxing into the couch next to her.

"Well, can't you enjoy it somewhere else?" she said back. I loved it when she was feisty.

"Nope. Here is just fine. Where's your boy?" I asked, slightly jealous. I've thought Quinn was smokin' hot for years now, way before she was with Finn. It's only natural. She's hot, after all. And being a Cheerio, I know she has a great body, and she's probably incredibly flexible.

"Not here. He said he had to work on something for glee club," she said, glaring blankly ahead.

"Yeah, well, I'm not sure what he sees in that stupid homo explosion anyway. I mean, the football team—we're his boys. We've always been his boys. And he jumps up to join those losers…"

"Not to mention that slut, Rachel," she said, her eyes turning to slits.

I felt a weird feeling, but I shook it off. Rachel wasn't a slut. Actually, I almost wish she was. It would give me an excuse to get into her pants without looking like a freak or a pansy.

"Yeah, well, that girl's all kinds of crazy," I said, shaking my head, as I chugged another beer.

"You gonna drink all that?" she asked, pointing to the last unopened can of beer I had in my lap.

"What do you think?" I asked, sarcastically. Like Noah Puckerman would take two beers and only drink one. Yeah right.

She just rolled her eyes and turned away.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"Just some wine coolers, I guess," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Be right back," I said, trudging over to grab some for her. Leave it to Quinn to get the most girly drink with the LEAST amount of alcohol in it. With the way she was acting, she definitely looked like she needed more than that.

Before I headed back to the couch, I felt my phone vibrate. I quickly pulled it out to see a message from Finn.

"Hey, man. Call me quick. Look, somehow I just ended up making out with Rachel. But then I had that problem again, and yeah. What am I gonna tell Quinn?"

I felt my fist clench around my phone.

_Seriously_, Hudson?!

You have the hottest girl in school and now you're going around making out with the freak. Even if that freak does happen to have long legs. And she may just happen to be hot. And she may be a frequent flier in my dreams at night. But whatever.

I couldn't believe Hudson, holding two girls at once. I growled as I shut my phone off and grabbed one more beer and a few more wine coolers. I could tell it was going to be a long night.

Two hours and a couple drinks later, Quinn looked like she was beginning to feel a little buzzed, and tears were pouring down her cheeks.

"I just don't get it. Why is Finn so obsessed with glee club? And that stupid man-hands Rachel?" she asked, through tears.

I'm glad I hadn't told her about Finn's text. Who knows how emotional she might be?

Let me tell you something, Quinn is definitely an emotional drunk. Very, very emotional.

She clutched my shirt in her hands and leaned her face against my chest and sobbed.

I can't remember too much of what she said. After all, I had a lot of alcohol in me. I can't even remember how much, but it was definitely A LOT.

I think I vaguely remember her asking if she was fat, then saying something about Rachel's legs to which I may or may not have made a suggestive comment, which may have made her cry harder.

Then all I remember is hearing "I'm tired of being the good girl and the virgin. If Finn can have fun, so can I." and then I felt something hit my lips.

It took a minute to remember what was happening. But then I realized. It was HER lips. Kissing mine.

For a second, it felt great. I mean, after all, she was HOT, and it was natural. A second later, it felt wrong, because Finn popped into my mind. But then, I growled and shoved Finn out of my mind. Because, it's definitely NOT cool to think about your best friend when you're kissing a hot girl. And then I thought about Finn and Rachel and I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I felt that Finn deserved it. After all, he couldn't have two girls. So maybe he could let me have one.

I can't remember much of what I thought after that. I remember moving to some sort of room that had a bed. I remember lips and hands being everywhere.

For a while, I thought I was dreaming, because I remembered legs. And legs always take up a large part of my dream. But then something came to mind and I remember thinking that the legs just weren't quite long enough, at least not long enough for my normal dreams.

But then more touching and kissing came along, and the longer legs were wiped out of my mind. After all, there was hot girl here. And she clearly wanted me. And well, my body definitely wanted her.

So I felt my mouth attack hers one last time, and after that, it all just faded to black.

All I remember is waking up the next morning and realizing that first, I had a major headache, and second, the color of the hair was all wrong. Wasn't Rachel supposed to be brunette?

And that was when I realized that I had screwed up. Majorly. It definitely wasn't the Queen of Freaks in my bed. No, instead, it was the Queen of the school. My best friend's GIRLFRIEND. Even if Finn was sort of dating two girls, it didn't actually make it okay to have sex with one of those girls, particularly the one that was his real girlfriend. But then again, I couldn't really take it back, now could I?

I moaned against the sunlight as it shined into my eyes and rubbed my hand across my face.

I looked over and saw that Quinn was still asleep. Hoping to avoid any irrational emotion on her part, I quickly found my clothes and threw them on. I didn't want to leave Quinn alone in some stranger's home. So I quickly pushed her off the bed and ran.

And okay, so the whole pushing her out of the bed thing wasn't really the best idea, and it was slightly immature. But I had to wake her up somehow. I definitely didn't want to wait around for her to wake up either. If she was that emotional after just drinking wine coolers, I did NOT want to see what she was like after she experienced a hangover AND realized that she lost her virginity to her boyfriend's best friend.

I couldn't just leave her, though. After all, what if someone found her? Word would DEFINITELY get back to Finn. And that would definitely be trouble. So I HAD to push her off the bed. And run.

As I headed home, I closed my eyes and sighed. I was definitely SOL.

*A/N: This was incredibly hard for me to write. I had no idea how Puck and Quinn interacted BEFORE the baby. Did they fight? Get along? Like each other? Hate each other?

I really had to make it up….So please let me know if you love it, hate it, etc.

Be honest and let me know what you think. Is it too OOC? What could be better? Worse?

Thanks for reading! I appreciate every review. It encourages me to write more!

And don't forget to go to Fox Chicago and vote for GLEE contestant Video #4! :D


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